Isolation can be devastating for a teen and warrants attention. Peer group and friendships are vital at this age and a child who seems to have no friends can be acutely unhappy.

Remember that your child's social needs may be different from your own. Your teen may be more of a loner, and be happy with fewer friends.

Girls, in particular, often go through a phase when they form an intense friendship with one 'best friend'. This choice is different from true unpopularity.

Make it easy for her to talk to you

Forcing the issue will make your teen clam up. Make it easy for her to introduce the subject herself - ask what she thinks of a TV programme or magazine article on a related topic. Share a humorous story about a social challenge from your own teen years. Be aware that your teen may use the same tactic herself. Look for signals that she wants to talk and be ready to respond.

Keep anxiety levels down

Avoid imposing your own anxiety on the situation. Acknowledge the hurt your teen may be feeling but stress that she is neither alone nor abnormal - many teens face the same challenge. Reassure her that though she is going through a difficult phase, it will pass. Meanwhile, there are steps she can take to help improve the situation.

Help to problem-solve

Teens want support, but hate parental interference. Try to play the role of an objective outside counsellor, sharing information and helping your teen to generate ideas. Let her take ownership of solutions. Clubs or part-time jobs are tried and true plans, or your teen might prefer volunteer work, which offers social opportunities and can raise self-esteem. Drama or public speaking can build confidence.

Give positive feedback

Unpopularity can lower a teen's self-esteem which, in turn, makes a difficult situation worse. Go out of your way to give positive reinforcement and build your teen's confidence.

Watch for signs of depression

Be aware that the problem may be more than just 'shyness' or 'being at an awkward age'. Keep a careful watch on her mood and be ready to seek professional intervention if serious depression occurs. Signs may include withdrawal, declining school performance, mood swings, sadness and sleep changes.