Having a new baby is a stressful experience for the existing child. He is going to feel jealous and left out at first. He may even regress to babyhood in an attempt to get your attention. He may try and hurt the new baby or leave her outside and 'forget' her.

As the children grow, the rivalry will continue to exist in some form or the other. To an extent it makes for healthy competition and children learn from clashing with their siblings how to be both cooperative and assertive outside the home. However, when taken to an extreme it is unhealthy and sometimes dangerous.

Take care of the following points if you have two or more big kids or teens.

• Never compare children.
• Teach the younger ones to treat the older one with a degree of respect and the older one to look after his younger siblings.
• Spend special time with each child so that they don't have to compete for your time.
• Never appear amused or flattered by your children's competition for your attention.
• Make an effort to avoid favoritism.
• Don't take sides in a fight. Dole out punishment equally.
• Praise cooperative play.
• Reward sharing behavior.
• Encourage individual interests.
• Encourage each child to develop his own special talents.
• Ignore tale carrying.
• Encourage family bonding and communication, through setting aside some special time for family activities such as reading together. Meals should be a family affair with lots of conversation.
• Watch out for domination or bullying on the part of any one child.
• Set an example of tolerance, good humor and lots of love.
• Have at least one family ritual or event that is special to your family alone.
• Don't encourage too much time spent at friend's homes rather than your own.
• Read stories or allow children to watch shows where families get along rather than the opposite.
• Stress the virtues of loyalty and caring for others.

Make it clear to the children that the happiness of the family is not distinct from their individual happiness.