In 60’s and 70’s the Mom used to be at home and Dad the bread winner; their family unity was easier to maintain and togetherness was a nightly focus in the same living room. But in the 21st century, the Real world we find both parents working and a schedule where family togetherness needs to be penciled in. Even the kids are overscheduled with extra-curricular activities.

With our ever-increasing busy schedules, it’s so easy to lose focus on spending quality time with our adolescents. It is important to remember that even though our children are nearing adulthood, they still need parental involvement. Communication breakdown has been cited as a major cause of parent/teen conflict over the years.

Mealtime was a Must in the past, where as today one in four parents reports eating four or less meals a week together as a family. Some never eat at all with the family. Mealtime can be a time of re-connection for families, especially for adolescents. It can be a great time to ask questions about your child’s day without interruption. If given the opportunity to spend a meal together, keep these points in mind.

• Turn off the phone ringer during mealtime to ensure quiet, uninterrupted time. Let the answering
• Let children have equal time to talk about themselves.
• Ask specific questions of your teen. This tells them you are interested.
• Tell them about your day. This tells them you respect their opinions.
• Make mealtime fun no arguing!

With the demands of work obligations and extra-curricular activities for both adolescents and parents, it is becoming more difficult to spend mealtimes together. If this is a problem in your home, there are other ways to interact and keep connected. Your child will appreciate knowing that he/she is important enough for you to make time together a priority. Here are some ways to spend quality time:

• Take your child with you for a drive a great time to open up a conversation.
• Go to a movie your teen wants to see.
• Go shopping at their favorite mall.
• Go to a concert or sporting event together.
• Go for a nature walk or hike, pack a lunch, and make it an adventure.
• Rent movies and stay up late together.
• Plan a monthly Family night where you play board games, cards, or just hang out watch TV together.

Relationships with our children are not built overnight; we must start early. Although teens may not know how to express their appreciation, they won’t forget the special times, especially the one-on-one times you spent together.

Making time with your teen your top priority may take some changes, but in the long run, the decision to alter your daily routine will become more natural. Small changes in how you use your time can have a big impact on family unity. Other creative ways to spend family time are:

• Make use of rituals. Maintain practices such as special birthday dinners, a holiday at the grandparent’s house, or playing car games on long trips (like when they were young). Rituals help provide the Foundation makings of family unity and also create positive emotional memories.
• Keep in contact with extended family. Visiting with relatives rekindles a sense of heritage and helps kids feel a sense of belonging.
• Take vacation time together. It’s not the length of the vacation or even whether you leave your home; it’s the fact that you spend relaxed time together.

Without quantity of time there cannot be quality time. There has to be Give and take in order to find time to spend together. Ultimately teens won’t show their appreciation, as much now as we would like, but the memories of time spent together will remain with them for years to come.