For a long time, childbirth had been viewed through the narrow perspective of rose-colored glasses: Everyone involved was thought to be excited and happy. Recently, however, a study by two prominent sociologists discovered that having a child can be serious crisis in a marriage. But why should this be?

The reason is that having a child can threaten the balance of responsibility in a marriage. For example, if both young parents have been working, the new child can mean additional expenses for only one income. Also a young woman who formerly enjoyed her work and time spent with adults may find that her new responsibilities are stifling and boring. The woman may understand that she has to give up much of her former lifestyle, but she may be resentful. Even though she may be interested in everything associated with childbirth, she can still become temperamental and irritable.

In such situations, the woman can make the mistake of shutting the husband out because she feels that she is the only one involved in the child birth. On the other hand, husband starts feeling that his wife has forgotten about him. Always remember that childbirth is a family affair and that the father should not be left out. What then can you do to make sure that the father is involved and feels important?

Here are some suggestions on how a father can play the supporting role during the pregnancy.

1. Nurture Your Wife. Make sure she is eating a good diet of healthy food. Make sure she gets plenty of rest. Make sure she is comfortable. Maybe offer her a pillow or to massage her feet. Take on more of the household duties like cooking, cleaning, mopping, dishes and laundry.

   Use this time to hone your nurturing skills. This way after the baby arrives you'll be an expert at nurturing him/her. More importantly, it sends a powerful and comforting message to your wife that you will be capable of caring for the baby.

2. Build a Support Team. Ask for help and delegate duties to relatives, neighbors, and friends. More often than not, someone will ask you if you need help. When they do, say YES and give them a list of things to choose from like pre-cooking meals, tidying up the house, buying groceries, or washing laundry.

   Use this time to start creating a support team for both you and your wife. Because after the baby is born you're going to need lots of help. By then your support team will already know what your needs are and what to do.

3. Be a Friendly Father. When you accompany your wife to the doctor's office and the Lamaze classes, ask questions and engage yourself in conversations with the doctor, the staff, and childbirth instructors.

   Use this time to visit the birth center and familiarize yourself with the floor plan and become acquainted with the nursing staff. Remember the doctor and nurses are the people who you will be counting on during the delivery. So it will be a good thing to establish a friendly relationship with them. This will also send a comforting message to your wife that you are looking out for her and the baby.

4. Network With Other Dads. A great place to meet and network with other dads is during Lamaze classes. Some hospitals offer a program for dads. If they do, get involved. If one is not available, suggest that the hospital start one.

   Use this time to wisely. Discuss your concerns, ask questions and brainstorm with other dads. You will soon discover that the best resource you have to become the best dad you can be is other dads.

If all this sounds a bit overwhelming, let me remind you that we, as dads, have the easy part.