Chances are that your grandfather and probably your father were not in the delivery room to see their children born. It was customary for the expectant father to sit in the waiting room along with all of the other family members. Once the baby was born, a doctor or nurse would come to the waiting room and tell the father. Well, times have certainly changed, and today, most women expect their partners to go through as much of the labor and delivery with them as possible.

Of course, it is completely understandable that the mother-to-be might be feeling anxious and nervous, but what about dad? Often, dad’s feelings of uncertainty and fear are pushed aside. He’s just a bystander, right? He’s not actually going through the birth, so why should he be nervous?

Obviously, if you are about to be a father, your role will be quite different from your wife’s, but it is perfectly natural to experience nervousness, stress, and fear. There are some steps you can take to educate and prepare yourself for the birth of your child.

Once you and your wife have discovered that you will have a baby, it is a good idea to begin preparing for the big event. There is plenty of literature available about childbirth and childcare. You should read as much information as possible. Begin taking an active role in your wife’s pregnancy. Make sure she is following a nutritious diet, and do your best to ensure that she gets as much rest as possible.

In the third trimester of your wife’s pregnancy, it is a good idea for you both to take childbirth classes. You may need to sign up during the first trimester in case all of the classes fill up quickly. Childbirth classes will give you a wealth of knowledge. You will learn about your baby’s development in the womb, and your childbirth instructor will help you understand all of the changes that both your wife and your unborn child are going through.

Childbirth classes will teach you how to help your wife manage any anxiety and pain she may experience during labor and delivery. Even if your wife is planning on using some type of pain relieving method, such as a spinal or epidural, she still may experience pain for a period of time. In the event that your wife must have a caesarian delivery, these childbirth classes will have prepared you for this procedure.

As the birth of your child becomes imminent, you may feel apprehensive and a little overwhelmed. It is important to remember that all of the things you are feeling are things your wife may be feeling, too. If you feel you just can’t be in the delivery room, remember that your wife may be wishing the same thing, but she has to be there!

Just as your wife has packed a bag for the hospital with clothes and supplies for her and the baby, you should pack a bag of some supplies for you. You may want to pack a few snacks for you and your wife. You could pack magazines, crossword puzzles, music, etc.

Once it is time to go to the hospital, try to be as upbeat and positive for your wife as you can. Reassure her that you will be with her every step of the way. As she begins the labor part of the birth, try to remember all of the techniques you learned in childbirth class. If your wife is having back labor, ask her if she’d like a back massage. She probably can’t have liquids, but maybe you can give her ice chips to relieve her thirst. As her pains become more severe, you need to be her coach, encouraging and cheering her as she manages each contraction.

If you have any questions or concerns about what is happening, you need to be the liaison between your wife and the medical personnel. You also need to be in charge concerning who else will be allowed in the labor and delivery room. Hopefully, you and your wife have already discussed who can come into the room while she is in labor. If you haven’t, however, or if your wife has changed her mind, now is not the time to debate whether a mother-in-law can make an appearance. If your wife doesn’t want particular people in the room at that time, then you should make sure they stay out of the room.

Finally, once your wife is ready to push, she may become discouraged at the amount of time it is taking to actually deliver the baby. You will need to continue to encourage and praise her for all of her hard work. Once your sweet baby has arrived, you and your wife can rejoice and revel in all that you have accomplished together!