Don't worry about being a great dad. Being a great dad isn't about holding the baby just right, or knowing how to burp her, or being a willing participant at imaginary tea parties. Being a good dad starts with being a good husband. It starts with getting involved in the entire prenatal process; so if you really want to be a good dad, make sure you're a good husband, because great husbands become great dads.
If there's one thing your baby needs, it's a stable, loving home. Work to make your marriage rock solid. The good dad thing will follow, guaranteed.
Try to live your normal pre-child life as soon as possible. A lot of first-time parents totally freak out when they have an infant, and they don't leave their house for two years because they're afraid of what might happen to "the baby." It's a baby -- not nitroglycerin. After a couple of weeks, go out and start to return to as much of you and your wife's normal routine as possible. Remember -- babies are small and travel surprisingly.
Take your baby out to dinner with you, take them on trips, shopping, on airplanes, and just about everywhere you used to go before the baby. Once you realize that you're out there, doing regular things with the little one going along just fine, you'll realize that although some things are certainly different now, you can still do most of the things you used to do. When you start doing regular things, it will take a lot of stress off you both, and give you time to feel like a couple again, not two people tied to the house 24 hours a day, which can be incredibly stressful in and of itself.
Give the mommy some time for herself. When it comes to caring for an infant, and instinctively knowing what to do with a newborn baby, women have the market cornered, and being a mommy is a much harder job than being a daddy. That's why it's so important that you give the mommy as many breaks as you can. She needs time for herself, but she's so wrapped up in being a mom, she probably won't stop long enough to care for herself.
The best thing you can do is make her take breaks. Watch the baby for a while as she naps, then have your wife go visit her girlfriend, or if her mom lives nearby, have her take some time and visit her. Even if she just wants to go to the mall, or see a movie with her friends, you've got to make time for her to do this. She needs it (more than even she knows) and it gives you some wonderful time with your newborn.
Get up with Mom for late-night feedings. This is a tough one, but you'll be glad you did it. When it comes to dining, newborn babies think they're on a cruise ship, and at midnight and 2 a.m. they fully expect and demand a buffet.
Be affectionate with your baby, especially as they get older. Kids need love, but they don't understand the word "love" on any level. So holding your baby and telling her, "Daddy loves you," is pretty much meaningless.
But you know what kids do understand -- a loving touch. Hugging them, snuggling them, and kissing them makes them feel loved. It's a basic way humans communicate love, but some fathers feel awkward showing love in this way. Get over it. A kid needs to feel loved, always, and you have within your power a guaranteed way to make them know they're loved. A kid that knows they're loved is a happy kid -- the kind of kid that runs and jumps into your arms when they see you.
You will never, never regret being affectionate with your child, because you will be able to send a "you're loved" message right to your kid's heart anytime with just a simple peck on the forehead, a quick hug before school, or even just tousling their hair as they walk by. A dad's loving touch is amazingly powerful; it sends a message to your child that words can't always convey.
Treat your kid the way you wanted to be treated when you were a kid. Take a look back on how you were raised. Look back at how your dad showed, or didn't show, his love for you. How he disciplined you, encouraged you, criticized you, and molded you. If you had a great dad, now's your chance to take everything he showed you and put it to good use.
If you didn't have a great dad, this is your chance, your golden opportunity to make up for every fatherly injustice he did to you by being to your child a much better and more sensitive, involved, loving dad than he was to you. This is your chance to show your dad, and the world, "This is what being a good dad looks like." Provide your child with a level of love, patience, understanding, and affection that shows your own dad how it's done.
Don't ever abuse your kid. Ever. The same goes for your wife. There is never, ever a reason to hit a woman or abuse a child. It is the height of cowardice and a disgrace to fathers everywhere to hurt any woman or child. It is impossible to be a great dad if you hurt your child or your child's mommy even once. It dishonors you, your entire life, and everything you've worked this hard to achieve. Pass this on to your kids.
Besides hitting, never be verbally cruel to your child. Never call him stupid, an idiot, or any name that makes him think he's less than the special child he is. Make it your goal to give your kid so much love and praise that it gives him a high-self-esteem problem.
Advice on raising children is everywhere, and it's all contradictory, so be very careful which guide you follow. Unfortunately, there is no bottom line, no official guide, no absolute authority on raising kids, so there are literally hundreds of books on how to be a good parent and raise kids right. One book says if your baby cries, pick them up. Another book says let them cry it out. A third book says pick them up once, then let them cry it out. A fourth... well, you get the idea.
So how do you know which one is right? You don't. So you have to do some research and decide for yourself. If you read only one book, you'll probably go with that method. Talk to other parents, read books, parenting magazines, and online articles to get as much information as possible, then decide which of them makes the most sense to you.
Don't go with things that don't feel right in your gut. If it feels wrong to you, it's probably wrong for your baby. With the Internet, there's a ton of information out there, and not all of it is good. Go with your gut, and listen to that little voice inside your head that usually keeps you from making big mistakes.
Enjoy yourself. It all goes by too quickly. The time you have with your kids absolutely flies by, so really take the time to enjoy it. Take time out of work to be with them. Pick up your kid from school and go hit a bucket of balls with them, or volunteer to be the coach of their soccer team.
Learn what kids want most from their dad. They don't care what kind of job you have, or how many awards or accolades you've garnered in your industry, or what kind of degree you have. What they want most is your time. They want to be with you. They want your attention, your ear, your opinion, your focus -- they just want to be around their dad. They need "dad time" and they want you around as much as possible.
Remember, you're molding a little life here, a very impressionable little mind, and you are your kid's role model. Their hero. Show him how it's supposed to be done; as your child grows older, you'll be amazed at how you two wind up having so much in common. Why is that? Because he's just like his dad.
