When your child spends time on the computer, do you know what he or she is doing or whom he’s communicating with? Many parents have a false sense of security regarding the Internet because they view the computer as a safe educational tool. This is not always true. And, just because it keeps kids home and often in their own rooms; the Internet can be harmful in some cases. As in all areas of your child’s life, you need to stay involved, keep the lines of communication open about Internet activities, and develop rules of safety.

Cyberspace is like a big city. There are libraries, universities, museums, places to have fun, and plenty of opportunities to meet all kinds of nice people. But, like any city, there are also some places and people to avoid. By cautioning your child about the dangers and how to avoid them, together you can take the advantage of all the positive aspects of the Internet, while avoiding most of its pitfalls.

GENERAL RISKS:

• Behavior and situations that make you feel uncomfortable. Not everything in cyberspace puts kids in danger, but there is some material that could make them feel uncomfortable. There are web sites, newsgroups, chat rooms, and other places online that could contain material that is sexual and/or violent in nature. People in chat rooms may respond in repulsive or hateful language. No matter what the situation is, remind your children that they have the right and the means to instantly leave any area that is uncomfortable.
• Exploitation. The most serious risk your child faces involves the possibility of someone hurting or exploiting them because of the information they may post online. Physical abuse is not going to jump out from the monitor, but some adolescents make dates with people to meet in town. Talk openly with your child about these experiences. Discuss the threat of sexual predators. Encourage your child to report individuals that are not following proper Internet protocol.
• Financial Scams: Your child can put himself and the family at financial risk. The Internet is a place where people can take money from you or your family with false marketing schemes. Be wary of any “get-rich-quick” promises to help you earn lots of money in your spare time. If something sounds “too good to be true”—it probably is.
• Harassment: Not everyone in cyberspace is courteous. Remind your child that when they enter chat rooms or bulletin boards, there is a chance they will get messages that are harassing, demeaning, or just plain mean. Tell them not to take it personally. Explain to your adolescent that some messages may constitute harassment, which is a crime.

BASIC RULES FOR ONLINE SAFETY:

• Never give out personal information such as home address, phone number, or the name of your school.
• Don’t send pictures without permission.
• Never give anyone your password, on or off-line.
• Never meet a person you have talked to online without a parent present.
• It’s best to have a nightly online curfew for adolescents. Late night chat rooms can have some unpleasant interactions.
• Don’t respond to inappropriate or offensive messages.
• Remind your child that the people they meet online may not be who they say they are.

Being actively involved in the lives of their daughters is another way Moms may help preventing early sex. Mothers seem to have more of an influence delaying their daughters from having sex than their sons. Boys may be more influenced by fathers, siblings, and peers on the timing of first intercourse.

INTERNET SECURITY:

As a parent, you can check into services that rate web sites for content as well as filtering programs and browsers that empower parents to block the types of sites they consider to be inappropriate. These programs work in different ways. Some block sites known to contain objectionable material. Some prevent users from entering certain types of information such as their names and address. Other programs keep your kids away from chat rooms or restrict their ability to send or read E-mail. Generally these programs can be configured by a parent to block only the types of sites that the parent considers to be objectionable. Here are some examples.

• Net Nanny— an excellent program if you have kids that are experimenting with unacceptable sites online. It shows clear messages to the user about violations and keeps logs that the parent can view.
• ContentBarrier for Mac— a filtering program designed especially for Macintosh computers that block unacceptable sites, monitors chat and shuts it down if inappropriate language occurs, limits time, download ability and more.
• Norton Internet Security— the parental controls offer customizable options and it also offers a Privacy Control feature which blocks confidential information from being sent through popular instant messenger programs. Packaged with Norton’s virus protection and a firewall.
• Make “surfing the net” a family experience. Ask your adolescent to show you what’s cool. This may be one area where you get to be the student and your child gets to be the teacher.

LET'S GET MORE MONEY FROM THE CASH MACHINE

In addition to giving children an allowance, there are many other things parents can do to teach kids about how to handle money. And with all the TV commercials children watch, it's more important than ever to help them learn how to distinguish their needs from their wants--how to make choices about money.

Unfortunately, many adults themselves are confused about needs and wants, and set a bad example. (Can you remember the last time you stood at a cash register, money in hand, and asked yourself, Do I really need this?)

If you don't have the knack for money management, take heart. You can get better in time if you work on it. Remember, the example you set on how to spend, save, and earn money will make a difference. Here are some other things you can do.

• Explain the difference between wants and needs. Teach your kids that food; shelter and clothing are on the short list of human needs. In our society, electricity, transportation, and phones also fall into the need category. Designer clothes and cereal in the shape of cartoon characters qualify as wants.
• Let kids know that your first responsibility is to provide for the family's needs. Once you have paid for the basics, explain that the family can choose to spend the remaining money for fun things, but that it would be wise to put some money aside for future goals such as taking a vacation, buying a house, or paying for college.
• Make it a point to watch TV with your children. Pay attention to the commercials that they see. Help kids understand that products are heavily hyped. What they see is not necessarily what they get. It's important for kids to learn from their own mistakes, but that's not a message you need to pound in.
• Pass along your own ideas of what's worth buying without dictating how children should spend their allowance or money they have earned. For example, let your kids know that you're happy to buy them a perfectly fine pair of sneakers for Rs. 500. If they decide to upgrade to a designer Rs. 1500 pair, it will be with their own funds. Make the point that they will have Rs. 1000 less to spend on something else they would enjoy.
• Talk to kids about how you make and spend money. Even young children should know that you work for every penny, nickel, dime, etc. and that cash from an ATM machine isn't magic money. Its money you worked hard to earn. Ditto for checks and credit cards.
• Try using an eventually list. Develop a wish list--a record of what you most want to have or do. We called this our eventually list, and it helped us as a family to prioritize. Sooner or later, most everything on the list got covered or lost its appeal. Knowing that something will happen eventually calms the need for instant gratification. So next time your kids must have something, make it easy for them to save for it, a little at a time. If they don't lose interest in it, they will really value the prize once they have saved long enough to make it theirs.