All bullies use power plays to establish their dominance but girls tend to rely on relational power by threatening friendships and injuring their victim’s social status and self-esteem. They can isolate other children by ignoring them or excluding them from an activity, secret, or joke. Because of the “insider” knowledge necessary for this kind of bullying to work, it often occurs between friends or within close social networks.

Many girls create coalitions to avoid direct confrontation. A popular clique leader will appeal to other girls to join her scheme or fill them in on the juicy details of her fight. She offers them an opportunity to feel like a part of the clique, but maintains the position of power she needs because her popularity dulls her fear that she will become the next victim.

Sometimes the bullying victim isn’t who you would assume it to be. A girl who is confident, pretty, smart, affluent, or popular can be targeted if other girls become jealous or think she is conceited. Often, when resentment builds among the other group members, the popular leader of the clique finds herself next in line for group exclusion.