If your child and his teacher do not get along, then even with the best curriculum and motivation, the school year is likely to be an academic wash unless you intervene constructively. When a personality conflict exists between your child and his teacher, your challenge is to support your child but not fuel the fire. It's so tempting to do an end-run on the teacher-whether complaining to other parents, other teachers you are close to, or the principal. But teachers always want the chance to work things out and you need to give them an opportunity to do so, putting aside your skepticism and tackling the issue head on.

Your first step should be a serious conversation with your child. At one point or another, everyone encounters a person with whom he does not get along, whether academically, socially, or professionally. Teaching your child to deal with these situations at an early age prepares him for these trials later in life. Explain to him that in life we often have to deal with people we don't like, but cannot react by getting angry, acting out, or refusing to do our work. It's helpful to give him examples from your own life of co-workers, peers, or administrators with whom you have butted heads in the past. Show him how you worked things out constructively. Help him understand that this is an opportunity to show character and rise to a challenge. It is natural to become concerned if your child returns home from school with stories of how his teacher embarrassed or mistreated him.

Nearly all kids go through periods during which they dislike their teachers because they feel they are treated unfairly or receive an undeserved grade. However, before you rush back to the school, have a clear understanding of the story from your child's viewpoint. Ask him for specifics to determine exactly what happened, and find out if it is simply a misunderstanding or if it is a recurring problem. Stay open-minded and consider your first steps an information-gathering mission.

Often, a child's version of what's going on does not match the teacher's. Keep in mind that your child isn't always the most accurate or reliable judge of a teacher's ability. It is critical to hear the teacher's perspective on the issue as well.

Older children, especially middle school students, are prone to bow to the influence of peer pressure and judge teachers based on other students' opinions. Consider whether your child's gripes are valid or whether he's just repeating what he overheard in the cafeteria.

If your child thinks his teacher is "out to get him," make a list of his complaints. Look at the list and judge whether you think the objections are valid, taking your child's personality into account. If he is prone to exaggeration and misinterpretation, proceed more cautiously. Talk to parents of other children in the class and find out if they have received similar complaints from their children or have the same impressions.

Most teachers have their students' best interests at heart. A lot of the problems students wind up having with their teachers are about conflicts of style and personality. Listen carefully to your child's complaints about the teacher. Do they sound like instances of bad teaching or does it sound more like your child is reacting to a new and unfamiliar teaching style or simply doesn't like the teacher's personality? There is a possibility that some of the things the teacher says to your child or assigns aren't "fair," but in the classroom she's in charge.

It is your job to intervene if incidents or comments lead you to believe the teacher or principal dislikes your child. You don't want your child to be labeled a troublemaker for the remaining time spent in that school. Although it is critical that you involve yourself in your child's education, over-involving yourself may cause even more problems.