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Bonding With Your Baby

Bonding is defined as the intense attachment that develops between parents and their baby. Bonding is unlike anything you have felt ever before holding your baby in your hands. It is created in a thousand instances of everyday activities -- when you feed to your baby, when you talk to your baby, when you sing a lullaby for him/her, when you respond to her cries by holding him/her in your hands, when you give him/her a shower, or when you change his/her diaper. It is bonding which makes a mom to wake up in the middle of night to feed her baby. In addition to bringing your new family together, bonding will provide your baby with the basis for healthy emotional and physical development.

Research has shown that bonding fosters a sense of security and positive self-esteem and provides an excellent first model for intimate relationships forged later on in life. But bonding doesn't happen in a split second, nor does it have to occur during a particular and critical window of time. Researchers say there is a "sensitive period" in the moments immediately after birth when mothers and newborns seem particularly primed to tune into each other. But this doesn't mean that if you miss this period, you lose the opportunity to develop a close relationship with your child. For many parents, bonding is a byproduct of everyday caregiving. You may not even know it's happening until you observe your baby's first smile and suddenly realize that you're filled with love and joy.

Bonding is really a continuation of the relationship that began during pregnancy. The physical and chemical changes that were occurring in your body reminded you of the presence of this person. Birth cements this bond and gives it reality. Now you can see, feel, and talk to the little person whom you knew only as the "bulge" or from the movements and the heartbeat you heard through medical instruments. Bonding allows you to transfer your life-giving love for the infant inside to caregiving love on the outside. Inside, you gave your blood; outside, you give your milk, eyes, hands, and voice—your entire self.

Most infants are ready to bond immediately. Parents, on the other hand, may have a mixture of feelings about it. Some parents feel an intense attachment within the first minutes or days after their baby's birth. For others — especially if the baby is adopted or has been placed in intensive care — it may take a bit longer.

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